Lessons from my Father: A Note and Ode to the One who brought me into this world.

If you are here, I take this opportunity to thank you from the bottom of my heart to give this 2-min newsletter a read. It means the world to me and I hope it makes sense to you.

Hey You💜,

I have two pillars of strength who have helped me wade through the good times and bad with ease - Mom and Dad.

One of them is my ‘Father’.

There is a saying he had imbibed in me as a kid -

Char Gog Gagog, Mann Chow Gagog
Char Guna Oog, Amma Oog.

It means -

You fish on your side,
I fish on my side
No one fishes in the middle

Also interpreted as -

You mind your own business
I mind my own business
We both don’t mind each others business

This was a call sign between my father, me and a dear family friend ever since we were 6 yrs old.

Even today, when he meets my dad, the first thing they say is this. And that’s how they greet each other. 🧡

Simple right? How easy life would be if we could just follow this to the T.

My dad lived an illustrious life from childhood to adulthood.

He came from a decently well-to-do middle class family with 4 siblings and a dad who worked in the Kolkata Ordnance Factory.

He lived his entire life in a hostel ever since he was in 9 years old till he passed out his engineering specializing in Powder Metallurgy from BHU (now known as IIT-BHU) - Theirs was the first batch of ~30-odd students to do their engineering in this specific niche almost 60 years ago. 🥹

The first lesson -
If you believe in pursuing your career in one field, however different it is, do it. Don’t look back and don’t second guess yourself.

I won’t be telling you his entire journey of 79 yrs living, surviving, thriving and losing on this Earth. But Yes I will highlight the key lessons his conversations taught me.

He never sat me down and gave me 10 lessons. These are all observations I have had by hearing his countless world stories every single day till date (he has traveled the world twice).

Lessons from my Father:

1. Always remember who you are. Don’t underestimate yourself and belittle yourself for someone else. You are meant to do great things in your life, don’t leave it.

2. Life is not fair, but that’s what it is - Life. If you have done something, you gotta own up. No one is coming to fight your battle for you.

3. Don’t lose that smile on your face. Yes, days may seem cloudy and nights may seem a mess, but never lose that charm and energy you hold. That is what will get you through your toughest times.

4. Your partner is your best friend. You may not get along always and you will have countless arguments but at the end no one understands you better than them. Without them, you are lost.

5. Reading books is like escaping into a world of words with thousand scenarios to visit. Always read and keep yourself updated. Never stop reading.

6. Work will come and work will go. But you are the only one who will stand strong at the end of the day. Don’t make work your life.

7. Keep yourself fit at all times. Practices built early in your life remain forever. Walk, play a sport, do yoga, or do anything that feels right to you. But always have one physical activity in your life.

8. Be kind to everyone around you, even if they have done wrong to you. Karma is real and it always catches up. Don’t do anyone wrong intentionally. It does not show their character, it shows yours.

9. Humor is your best ally. In times of highs or lows, humor makes everything seem right. Be witty and humorous because it will help you ease your woes and see world a little differently.

10. Live life king size (or queen size). You only live once (YOLO) so do whatever your heart desires. Practice being a good human being.

He has seen the darkest of the days and the brightest of nights yet he stood through it all because why not?!

Did he never make mistakes?

Of course, he did. He’s no saint. But he did with equal pride and owned up to it when time demanded.

He’s loved me the 2nd most after his wife (my mom) and nothing can ever change that.

For him - I know I will always be his little girl, his Kudi, his Gutki, who he cannot stop worrying about till date. 🥹

To my Father, and to yours, on earth or in memory.

Until later…

Cheers,
Yours truly❤️